Holy Union
by Sailor Ship Staff
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu one shot. May make more?
1. chapter 1

Hidan dusted himself off after his sacrificial rites drew to a close. He cast an irritated glance at his partner, who was fast asleep against a wall.

" You ancient fuck. Your sleeping could have gotten us both in trouble if someone surprised us!"

Kakuzu stirred from the rude awakening and groaned, " your rituals make me feel myself age, my apologies."

Hidan laughed as he removed his cloak, "aah, Bakakuzu~ I don't see why you gripe about my rituals." He took off his shoes and pants quickly and cast them to the side.

Kakuzu looked at his partner and started lazily tugging at his own cock. He had to admit the added bonus to Jashinism is the after ritual unions. Hidan was going to drain him dry while riding out a "holy orgasm". Not a bad deal, he mused while the flesh hardened in his hand.

Hidan walked toward the older man, hips swaying seductively. His pale white skin was beautiful in the evening dusk light. His violet eyes met Kakuzu's. Hidan licked his lips and lowered himself into Kakuzu's lap. Wasting no time, he took off his mask and they kissed hungrily. Kakuzu won dominance over Hidan easily, his threads threatening to erupt out of the seams. Hidan ground his ass against Kakuzu's erection, relishing in the feeling of precum coating his ass. It wound Hidan up to no end. Kakuzu couldn't take it anymore. He pushed Hidan onto his back and pulled his head in for a kiss.

"Are you ready for me, brat?" Growled Kakuzu.

Hidan moved Kakuzu's hard cock to his entrance, "do it, you old fuck!"

Kakuzu sheathed himself completely into his partner and set a brutal pace. The sound of flesh slapping together reverberated throughout the room. Hidan arched his back and moaned loudly as Kakuzu abused his prostate repeatedly.

 _How is he so beautiful,_ Kakuzu thought as he flipped Hidan onto shaky hands and knees.

Hidan wiggled his ass eagerly, awaiting the intrusion excitedly. Kakuzu entered him again, hitting his prostate again. Hidan howled in pleasure, letting his legs widen slightly to try to steady himself. He couldn't take it. His orgasm hit hard, making him paint himself with cum. Kakuzu wasn't far behind, spilling his seed deep in Hidan.

Kakuzu let himself fall on top of Hidan, causing them to both fall into the ground.

"I love you so much," panted Kakuzu.

"What?"


	2. Marriage and Taxes

Kakuzu and Hidan walked in awkward silence through the forest. As always, though, Hidan was the one to break it.

"So what does that make us, Kuzu?"

A blush coated his face. He didn't mean to confess his feelings to his partner while balls deep in him. He was more of a class act than that.

" Well, technically, we are married for tax purposes," he mused flatly, trying to avoid Hidan' s eyes.

Hidan laughed and patted his partner on the back roughly, "as if assholes like us really need to worry about taxes!"

Kakuzu was at a loss for words. He wasn't good at this interpersonal aspect of a relationship. It was way easier to blow a load then hit the road.

"Look, Hidan," he mustered with a surprising amount of softness, "I care for you. I have for some time now."

Hidan reached out and grabbed his hands. He looked up at Kakuzu with a soft grin on his face. Kakuzu took off his mask and placed it in his pocket. Hidan pulled him down and their lips met. Kakuzu let his tongue explore Hidan' s willing mouth. He pulled Hidan into his own larger frame, holding him tightly. His hands roamed Kakuzu's chest as he kissed him more hungrily.

"This isn't where I expected our honeymoon to be, Kuzu." Hidan said, amused.

Kakuzu bit his lip as Hidan twisted his nipples. Some of his threads errupted from the seams in his arms. Hidan pushed him against a tree for support. He took one of the pinkish nubs in his mouth and sucked gingerly while the other was rolled in between Hidan's thumb and index finger. Kakuzu couldn't hold his moans back any more. More threads errupted from various seams on his abdomen. Hidan was making him fall apart.

"Na~ I love this look on you." Hidan playfully bit Kakuzu's nipple and pulled on the other.

"H-hidan please-" he panted.

"Please what, Kuzu? " he placed his leg in between Kakuzu's thighs and ground against his erection with earnest.

"Please be my first-aah!" His words were cut short by Hidan grabbing his hard cock through his clothes.

"A virgin? Oh Kuzu, I had no idea~" Hidan pulled his cock out of its fabric prison, not even bothering to take off his clothing entirely.

Kakuzu's threads pushed down his pants. His cock sprung up eagerly once his pants were down his legs.

"I only ever dreamed of seeing you like this, Kuzu~" Hidan purred, "You're coming apart from just nipple play!"

He panted, legs fully giving out from under him. Kakuzu was level with Hidan's cock. Hidan smirked at him and gently jabbed Kakuzu's cheek with it. He took the hint and gave tentative licks to the head before taking more of the length in his mouth. Hidan moaned and raked his fingers through Kakuzu's choppy brown hair. He pumped his hips a little, enjoying the feel of Kakuzu's mouth way too much.

 _Jashin almighty, he was made for this!_ Thought Hidan as he increased his pace to facefuck his partner. Kakuzu gripped Hidan's ass as some sort of stability.

 _Don't throw up, just don't throw up_ , Kakuzu repeated in his head while his eyes filled up with tears.

Hidan thought he was ready and withdrew from his partners mouth. Kakuzu coughed and wiped his mouth.

"Ass," Kakuzu hissed.

Hidan pushed him into his back. He gingerly poked at his virgin hole with his slicked erection.

" What about it, Kuzu?" He said mockingly before pushing his cock head in.

Kakuzu's eyes shot open and he bit his lip. He had expected it to hurt like hell but Hidan actually felt amazing in him.

"H-hidan, do more. Put it in m-me," he begged weakly, trying to hold himself together.

Without any further hesitation, Hidan plunged into his partner with a reckless, fast pace. Kakuzu's eyes rolled back as he let out a guttural groan. Hidan was hitting his prostate without mercy. He was cackling like a madman. His hair was slicked with sweat due to coitus and the unusually humid evening. His violet eyes were glazed over with want as he was drawing near the end of his orgasm.

" Who owns this ass, Kakuzu?" He called loudly, not caring who heard him.

Kakuzu's abdomen tightened as he shot cum all over his shirt. Hidan was not far behind, filling up his partner as deep as he could. Kakuzu shuddered as he felt Hidan withdraw. He never wanted it to end. Though it would make walking awkward for everyone.

"Don't ask that again, Hidan. You know we're Akatsuki property," he smiled weakly.

Hidan laughed and fell over despite himself.

Kakuzu picked Hidan up and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I love you, Hidan."

"I love me, too, Kakuzu. But I love you too."

Zetsu sighed thoughtfully and licked the cum off his fingers, "ah, love stories always _get me hard_."


End file.
